(Written by Jessica Weyrauch, inspired by the work of Megan Stielstra, 2015)
You spent most every night alone. You are objectively bad with social situations, so you avoid them at all costs. You prefer fictional characters to real people. You wear glasses. Your hair is always frizzy and uncombed. You don’t really like make-up. You own more books than you even know what to do with. Your mom might actually be your best friend. You do talk to her three times a day.
As a child, you listened to folk music and Queen. You didn’t like Radio Disney. You were so tall that you stuck out in group photos. You couldn’t braid your hair so it was always in a ponytail. The other girls would play with each other’s hair, but not yours. You couldn’t even ace a spelling test. You were forced to miss recess once and read in the cafeteria. You started to give yourself detention because that meant you didn’t have to go outside. You sat in the cold, bright special education room with the other bad kids and read. You preferred the quiet.
You spent most of middle school watching anime or playing the Sims. You got taken out of advanced math and science. You didn’t really care about those subjects anyways. You got braces after all your friends did. You used to write Weezer lyrics on your passbook. You wore all black and primarily shopped at Hot Topic. You sat at the ‘weird kids’ lunch table. You played the cello.
High school meant you could finally be someone else; instead you were “Joel’s sister.” You started caring about politics. You performed in multiple musical theatre productions. You cared more about speech and debate than your grades. You knew what would really get you into a good school. You were right. You got in, but you went to your back up school. You were too afraid to leave.
When you’re sitting a home, it’s most likely that you’ll be watching the news or catching up on TV. You talk to your cat and when he affectionately meows back at you feel like someone actually likes you. You’re not afraid of dying alone per say, but you think about it more than anyone really should. You get cold easily and prefer to be warmed up with tea. You don’t drink Starbucks. You don’t even like it.
Honestly, you don’t get people your own age. You can’t take shots. You don’t like parties. You’ve been told you “drink beer like a dad.” You don’t go to bars often. You would rather play board games, but you do love bar trivia.
Your Instagram is mostly photos of your cat. You get don’t get a lot of likes. You think you’re going to give up on social media because of how few likes you get. You are unlikeable.
So, you went to GenCon. You own four Star Wars posters. You dressed up for midnight premieres for 5/8 of the Harry Potter movies. You even went to the midnight book releases. You spent your whole afternoon watching Doctor Who and scrolling through Tumblr. You might find an inspirational quote and write it in your notebook. You might write it in 4 notebooks. You might write it on a post-it note and stick it on your mirror. You might find those words more comforting than ones spoken by a friend. Your friends don’t always understand, but words do.